


untethered

by jlhb



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Polyamory, Sleepy Cuddles, character study? kind of?, insp by fanart, my ot3 deserves happiness, someone get these girls therapy, these girls are soft and in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29289216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlhb/pseuds/jlhb
Summary: Leah is having a bad day. Dot tries to help. Soft girlfriends and cuddles.Inspired by fanart by @beau_.___ on instagram, please go check them out.
Relationships: Dot Campbell/Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke
Comments: 14
Kudos: 73





	untethered

**Author's Note:**

> TW: anxiety/panic attacks caused by paranoia, some compulsive behaviors, and brief mention of a character going semi-verbal. not too graphic but it is there.

Leah’s steps sounded throughout the apartment. She had been pacing for a while, trying to stave off the brain numbing paranoia until one or both of her girlfriends got home and could help her regain some form of control. She had coping mechanisms that didn’t involve them, her therapist made sure of that, but sometimes her thoughts were just too loud and too strong to fight, and she couldn’t battle them any more. As much as she tried not to burden her girlfriends with her mind, preferring to seem as composed as possible, she couldn’t deny that their voices and their gentle touches provided a special kind of comfort that her grounding techniques could not. 

Her pacing was nearing a compulsive point, she could tell now, and a little voice in the back of her head told her that she shouldn’t have even started, but it was too late now, and she couldn’t force her body to stop, even as she became tired and dehydrated. All she could do was bury herself deeper in her brain and pray that someone got home soon. Secretly, she wished it was Fatin. It wasn’t that she loved Fatin more, not at all, but ever since the island, Fatin seemed to have a sixth sense to tell whatever Leah needed at the moment, whether it be a hug, a firm voice, a cold shower, or the playlist that they had made and some cuddles. Dot, as hard as she tried, didn’t have that sense. She loved Leah intensely, Leah knew that, but to Dot, helping Leah often felt like a minefield, Dot unsure whether she was making things worse or better. So, selfishly, Leah hoped that it was Fatin who made it home first.

She was jarred out of her thoughts at the sound of a key sliding into the lock. For all of the time she had spent wishing someone would come and comfort her, a wave of embarrassment washed over her as she thought about someone finding her like this. It wasn’t anything she wanted, especially not for her girlfriend, tired from a day of work or school, but it seemed to be out of her control at this point. She was too lost in her own mind to even fully register that her feet were beginning to ache, much less stop herself. As Dot walked through the door, dropping her bag with a sigh, Leah really did try to stop, but it seemed like her legs were locked in their rhythm and no desperate pleas for them to halt was enough to cause her to stop. Though Leah’s movements didn’t slow with Dot’s entrance into their apartment, Dot seemed to freeze when she saw the scene playing out in front of her. She moved slowly, like Leah was a caged animal and Dot had no way of knowing her next move. 

“Leah?” The concern in Dots voice was overwhelming, and Leah felt her last threads of composure begin to snap. “Leah, baby, what’s going on?” 

_Are you real?_ Leah wanted to ask. _Are they still watching us? Is this a dream? Is Fatin safe? Where are the rest of our friends? Dot, I’m scared._ The thoughts crowding Leah’s head were loud, and Leah wanted so badly to be able to ask for help, but the words seemed trapped in her brain, unable or unwilling to exit her mouth. 

“Are- are- where- is-” the beginnings of aborted sentences danced on the tip of Leah’s tongue, but no other words were formed. She tried again, and still, nothing but halting syllables left her lips. Her frustration began to heighten, the inability to communicate only adding to Leah’s distress. Her hand started drifting towards her eyebrow without her direction, and Leah knew deep in her mind that she was careening towards a panic attack at full speed, but everything felt out of her control, and she wanted something- anything- to help her press the breaks. 

Dot was still looking at her, waiting for an answer that wasn’t going to come, but when Leah’s hand made contact with the soft skin of her eyebrow and began to pick and pull furiously, Leah became suddenly aware that Dot was moving towards her, interrupting her circles around the coffee table and grabbing her wrist. She only struggled for a moment, her legs screaming at her to continue her track, before giving in and resting her head on Dot’s shoulder, accepting the comfort that Dot was offering. 

When Leah didn’t seem to shy away from their contact, Dot drew the other girl into her arms. Leah’s chest was heaving, her breath coming in short gasps that sounded more like sobs and her hand kept trying to reach her face, only to be interrupted by Dot’s callused fingers each time, holding her at her pulse point like she had seen Fatin do many times before. Leah slowly allowed herself to be calmed by Dot, leaning into the hug and letting herself become enveloped by Dot’s smell. She was still drifting though, still lost in the dark corners of her mind and unable to communicate her needs. 

“What’s wrong, Lee?” Dot asked again, her voice softer now, the concern having left her tone in an attempt to maintain the state of semi-calm that Leah had reached. She pulled back to better see Leah’s face, and felt her heart crack slightly as she took in the red rimmed eyes and damp cheeks of her girlfriend. Leah’s breath began to pick up again, and Dot knew that she had done something wrong. Dimly, she remembered Leah telling her and Fatin, after a particularly bad panic attack, that sometimes when she was so lost in her mind, communication became difficult. Dot tried a different approach, starting with a yes or no question, instead of such an open ended one.

“Did something trigger this?” Leah’s eyes flashed briefly with something like gratitude before she nodded. Dot felt something release in her chest at Leah’s response, and at the same time Leah felt a weight lift off her shoulders at Dot’s understanding of the situation. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Leah’s response came more slowly that time, as she tried to wrack her brain for an answer. Because no, Dot couldn’t slow the flow of thoughts in her brain more than she already had with her steady voice and touch. But Leah knew that Dot wanted to feel useful, and so she nodded slowly, knowing also that even if Dot couldn’t stop the thoughts, she could help Leah regain some form of control. 

“Is there anything specific you want me to do?” Leah shook her head no, because her heart was slowing even if her mind wasn’t, and all she really wanted was to stay near Dot. “Ok. Alright, what if we go lay down for a bit and I can get you some water and we can just cuddle? Does that sound ok?” At Leah’s nodded assent, Dot began to slowly lead her girlfriend to their king-sized bed, where Leah lay down and closed her eyes almost immediately, the adrenaline starting to fade from her body. 

Quickly, Dot moved to the kitchen to get Leah a glass of water and to take a breath for herself. Leah’s panic was, in many ways, one of the scariest things Dot could witness. Just the knowledge that her girlfriend was so overwhelmed with fear that she could barely communicate sent a pang of sadness through Dot’s chest. Picking up her abandoned phone from the counter, Dot sent a short text to Fatin. 

_Dot: When does your class finish?_

Fatin replied almost instantly. 

_Fatin: 23 minutes, why? Is something wrong Dorothy?_

Dot swore. Her girlfriend and her uncanny ability to tell when something was up. Dot wouldn’t have been surprised if she checked Leah’s phone to find it filled with nervous texts from Fatin. While Dot knew that Fatin would leave class in a second if she thought Leah or Dot needed her, Dot told the truth.

_Dot: Yeah, Leah’s having a rough day. I got home and found her really fucking freaked out._

_Fatin: Do you need me to come home?_

_Dot: No, I don’t think so. I think the worst of it is over, but it was a bad one. Just don’t dawdle on your way home, ok?_

_Fatin: Alright. But text me if anything changes, and I can leave if you need me to._

_Dot: I will. Don’t worry too much, ok? I’ve got our girl._

_Fatin: I know you do. I love you._

_Dot: I love you too. I’ll see you when you’re done with class._

With that, Dot put her phone down and returned to the bedroom with Leah’s water. The role of caretaker wasn’t one that Dot was unfamiliar with, so leaning Leah forward and helping her take small sips of water felt like second nature to Dot. The relief on Leah’s face when she was done drinking and could lay back down made Dot sure she had made the right choice. Leah was exhausted, mentally and physically, and she needed the familiar calm of their bed. 

“Can I crawl in next to you?” Dot’s voice remained soft as she made an effort to exude the kind of calm that Leah needed. After getting another nod in response, Dot started to climb into their bed, arranging herself so Leah could use her lap as a pillow, but before she could get fully settled, Leah’s voice shattered the silence hanging over the two. 

“Lay on top of me?” Her voice was gravelly, and her throat sounded raw, but Dot had never been so happy to hear that voice. She didn’t dare question Leah’s request either, just rearranged herself so she was resting mostly on top of her girlfriend, using her chest as a pillow while she listened to Leah’s gradually slowing heartbeat. Neither were sure how much time had passed in comfortable silence before they heard the front door creak open and Fatins rapid footsteps make their way into the bedroom. 

Both Leah and Dot had closed their eyes, neither truly sure if the other was asleep, but they opened their eyes when Fatin opened the door, her breath quick and her gaze slightly frantic. She calmed at the sight of her girlfriends resting peacefully together, and even let out a giggle when Leah sent her a crooked smile. Dot was the first to speak. 

“What are you waiting for?”

Fatin’s brow furrowed in confusion. “The fuck do you mean Dorothy?”

“Get in here!” Fatin didn’t wait another moment before crawling on top of Dot, eliciting a happy sigh from Leah and a grunt from Dot. Fatin peaked at Leah from above Dot, catching her eyes in a silent question. In response, Leah gave Fatin an almost imperceptible smile, one that said “it was rough, but we got through it. We can talk about it later.” Satisfied with Leah’s well being for the moment, Fatin directed her glance to Dot. In the few moments their silent conversation took, Dot had adjusted herself so she could still breathe sandwiched between her girlfriends, and had then closed her eyes. 

Fatin smiled to herself. Her girls were ok. She was home, and for the moment, everyone was stable and ok and involved in a massive cuddle pile. Sighing sleepily, Fatin let herself rest with her loves, relishing in the warmth coming from beneath her. It wasn’t long before Fatin and Dot were both asleep, leaving Leah the only conscious being in the apartment once again. This time, however, with the weight of her girlfriends grounding her, Leah no longer felt untethered. Their solid presence, not confining but steadying, was the safety and calm that Leah had been wracking her brain to find all day.

Finally safe, Leah reached over and picked up the book that she had been trying to read when her thoughts ran away from her. She knew that it may not be a good idea. The trigger was still there, and her feelings on it hadn’t changed. But now, slightly crushed under the weight of her two girlfriends, Leah was there. She knew she would stay there. She knew her mind was protected by the two women, the women who would do anything for her, and in that safety, Leah kept reading.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this! I love them and I want to see them comforting eachother. Stay safe my friends! I'm @trexjesse on tumblr if you have any prompts!


End file.
